Wednesday, 11 January 2012



I have been crossdressing on and off since i was 14 I am now 16. I know this is kind of lame and weird but I wear my mothers clothes. I still live with my parents so this is the only option for me. I have tried on dresses and skirts, on and off. Sometimes i fell embaressed about my crossdressing and stop for a while. I have recently started up again. I have spent a lot ore time perfecting my "true" self. I have started wearing makeup when I crassdress and started acting like a women when crossdressed. I have noticed that it is almost scary how much of a women i look like. I have a fairly big *** for a man and I am extremely skinny, this makes me look a lot more feminine. I have recently wanted to go out crossdressed, since i discovered how much af a women i look with makeup and with a dress. I can pul off most clothing because of my body shape and age. When I crossdress, I mostly wear skirts and clothes that an everyday women would wear, my goal is to seem like a real women, I know that women do not walk around in lingerie. I think that with a bit more practice I could go out in public and pass.

No one knows about this secret of mine and keeping this secret and life of lies has been hard for me. In class we have been talking about the masks that eople wear everyday. I have a mask that no one knows about and connot share my true self with anybody, I feel happy when crossdressed. I dream of going out in public crosseddressed but know that I cannot do this until I move out and have my own place and clothes. I sometimes feel like I would like to become a women permanently, but I could not face my family if I did this, and they mean a lot to me.

I am not sure why I love crossdressing so much, It started out as something that turned me on for some odd reason, but I have grown to want to be more and act more like a women. It feels like I forget all mt problems and be someone else when I am crossdressed. All the problems I face are gone and it is only me. I have always secretly liked "gily movies" and other things that men are not supposed to like, but now things are getting a lot more severe. I am a different person when home alone, I sometimes feel like I am acting as a male in a tv show or like this is all a role in a movie, and when I am alone I can finally be myself.

For now I just enjoy all the time I can have as a women and dream of going out in public and finally being free.

My first time(crossdressing)

I had been dreaming of forced feminization from girls who would force me to do so. I think this was because I was scared to face my true feeelings. I had these thoughts since I was 12. I was mostly curious of how a dress would feel like on my skin and diferent articles of clothing. One day when I caqme home from school, I decided to finally see how a dress would feel. I tried on one of my mothers old red dresses with long sleeves and a v neck. For the first time that was all I wore. I felt guilt immediatly and put everything back thinking I would never do it again. I then started to wear spandex bikinis under my clothes at school and almost every day. I eventually stopped and threw them out feeling ashamed of myself and being conflicted.

After a few months I started wearing bras and underwear under the same red dress when my parents were not home. I the stopped for the same reasons until I was 15. My first experience was stressful, being scared that ssomeone would magicly know that I had worn a dress. At first it was mostly for the feel of the dress and the thrill of crossdessing. The crossdressing turned me on which was a good enough reason for me to do it at first.

Mistaken for a girl....twice

When I was younger, I liked to have longer hair (not related to wanting to be a women). I wanted to have a Justin bieber type haircut, but it didnt really look like that because my hair curled. I was not even close to acting girlish, I played hockey, fought at school, I was a typical 12 yr old. For some reason I guess I did not look like a guy because once I was at a restaurant and the waitress said ladies first looked at me, then a few seconds later realized I was a guy. That was a fairly awkward moment.

I guess I didnt really look like a guy because our realestate agent asked me if I had a boyfriend. It hadnt even occured to me I looked like a girl until I looked back on it

How im feeling

I FINALLY got the perfect oppertunity to crossdress. My brother and parents where at work. So I decided to put on a white blouse a skirt, white laced panties and a black bra. I also tried a black dress, it was fairly short and I looked like a total slut! Since Im young I could probably pull it off, but I would probably not wear it in public until my confidence was built up. I have still not gone out in public btw, mostly because I do not have a car and I dont want my neighbors to see me and tell my family, we know the neighbors fairly well. I absolutely LOVED the way I did my make up, I can DEFINETLY pass. The only problem is that I do not have a wig :(. Since I still live at home there is no possible way for me to get one either. In the pictures that Im going to link you cannot see my face precisely because I want to wait until I have a wig to show people what I look like. The lipstick I have is fairly bold red and for some reason I can pull it off! It also tastes like cherry which is a total turn on I am haveing some trouble with My eyeliner, my lines are WAY to big and not very smooth. I guess itll come with practice. My blush was perfect as always and my prominent cheek bones help me look even better!. I just need some practice tucking, i always have a massive bulge when straight up only wearing panties. (If any of you have any tips that would be greatly appreciated!)

I have recently been making A lot of research and been thinking a LOT about my crossdressing and have decided that when I move out, I will try becoming a women full time and see how it REALLY feels like to be a women. I will not have any operations right away but I might consider it in time. We only live once, so I decided that once I can, I will give it a full go. Some of you might nbotice that I am more positive about my crossdressing than on my first post,.This is mostly because I have accepted myself as who I am and going to try to make the best of it! I cannot deny who I really am and thats how I am looking forward on living my life! I wonder how it would be to become a straight transexual (meaning I like Women)

I have noticed though, that the more I crossdress, the more I want to become a women and stop being the person I am now. For some crossdressing is a means of escaping their present lives, This is not me at the momment, my life is great. I have good grades, several friends and a nice family to depend on and even a part time job. Im almost sure my family would never accept me as a girl, so for now I will not tell them, and when I try full time, I will most likely be in another city, so they ill not find out until I am ready. They will Have to know if I get an operation, but well see about that. I have even considered that I will have my legal name changed if I go forward being a women. I havealso wondered if any of you think I will get hired at an office job if someone realizes that I am a man. Should I say when I apply? I wonder if its easy to find a job if you admit to being a transsexual. Well see, I guess

Almost caught!

So I got home today and I was to be alone until 6. I picked out several outfits. The first one was a black and white dress. it has a black line right under where your boobs would be ;). I also had a black dress, a black skirt and black top and I also had another top with black yoga pants. I spent about one hour taking pictures and doing my nails. I was done my nails and was putting my makeup away when I hear the garage door closing and the front door opening, I was upstairs and ran from the bathroom in to my room. By then, my dad was in the house and at an angle that he could see straight up to my room. Im not sure if he saw what I was wearing ( red and white dress at the time). I got in my room as he was yelling "why are you running into your room?????" "what are you doing????". Meanwhile I was taking off the dress, the white bra and panties. I was nude so I ran into the shower. I used my body wash to get the make up off and got out. I still had some eyeliner and my nails where painted bright red. I was freaking out!! My dad was still downstairs when I got out of the shower. I put on some socks to hide my nails and then I put on some clothes. I then grabbed a pair of scissors and started scatching the nail polish off my hands. My dad then came u the stairs and I told him I was gonna take a nap. The lights were closed so he didnt see the eyeliner. After like half an hour I asked him if he had tylenols in his room which was upstairs (he was still downstairs) i grabbed the tylenols and the makeup remover at the same time and took the eyeliner off. I still have my toenails polished. I guess Ill just have to get rid of that tomorow morning when they have gone to work. (this happened to me about one hours ago).

After everything was done and was washed of all evidence, I wonder If I should have just gone downstairs dressed as I was and finally have come out. My reflexs kicked in when I heard the door and did not even consider that. I guess I wasnt ready for them to know. I should have done it though, I had been considering coming out a few minutes earlier.